Nerdlette

there was a time before we were born

Posted in jalouse, Mr. Men by nerdlette on 2 April 2009

let’s hear it for books and big suits

i’m down to dance with a lamp any day

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dealbreaker tattoos

Posted in Mr. Men, nerdlette by nerdlette on 15 June 2008

a much less homicidal raggedy ann

My friend E’s new beau, upon seeing her in all her nude glory for the very first time, complimented her lack of tattoos or piercings.

Apparently for this brooklyn fellow–who is in an indie rock band for a living, you would think this would be right up his alley–has maxed out on lame body art. For him, any and all markings are a dealbreaker.

This nerdlette is proudly tattooed. This my explain why (much to my chagrin) bad tattoos have never been a sufficient cockblock. The ladies at Jezebel breakdown their tattoos into fuckable and unfuckable. So I’ve decided to list the top 3 tattoos that SHOULD have been dealbreakers.

  1. Raggety ann slicing raggety andy in half with a chainsaw.
  2. Pi (the mathematical symbol) surrounded in a psychedelic cloud of green and purple.
  3. A personally created symbol that looked roughly like the aphex twin sign
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white guilt [in spandex]

Posted in jalouse, Mr. Men by nerdlette on 15 June 2008

In honor of my friend S, who was called a cracker when she refused to dole out a cigarette to a homeless guy outside the subway, I present a io9’s thesis on a summer of white guilt at the theater.

According to i09, questing, ruggedly individual heroes have given way to the conflicted, repentant figures as the American public struggles to come to terms with the consequences of American foreign policy.

Given that every semi-realistic movie about the Iraq War has flopped (like Valley of Elah or Stop Loss), maybe we can only deal with such a colossal historical mistake through the lens of fantasy. Or maybe this is Hollywood’s way of trying to purge the guilt of global climate change and the global economy’s corrosive effect on vulnerable people around the world.

Has the American psyche just entered a twelve-step program for an Imperial addiction?  The Superpower/Superhero metaphor comes easily enough. We’ve not quite made it to Step 5’s admitting of our wrongs. The actual events of Iraq are still unpalatable. (but Iron Man’s defense contractor/war criminal plotline indicates we are nearing Step 4’s moral inventory).

Robert Downey Jr. epitomizes this archetype for me in his excellent portrial of Iron Man.  The actors name is synonymous with the self-destruction, squandered potential, and pathetic contriteness of an addict. Guilty by association, if you will.

And, veering totally off topic,  Downey Jr. is brutally hot.

The Dude (Jeff Bridges) as an evil mastermind is a little harder to stomach. Even with a shaved head. I just kept having auditory hallucinations that he was tacking “man” onto the end of each sentence.

bald and bloodthirsty

the dude abides

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walk like a caveman

Posted in Mr. Men, nerdlette by nerdlette on 15 June 2008

Researchers in Turkey have uncovered genetic causes for a group of four families in Hungary that walk on all fours

Catch is–its not the same defect, the doctors postulate that it is not one but a cluster of genes that enable bipedial movement.  All are products of incestuous marriages and have severe developmental disabilities.

Incest always seems so lazy to me. Its the ultimate act of “settling.” If you are not willing to look farther than across the dinner table to find your fuck buddy then its no surprise that your children are genetically bred to be too lazy to ever progress past crawling.

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